W:I:S:H:E:S

Well, very obviously, I have not blogged in over a week. In fact, it has been twelve days. I bet you were wondering if I died werent you? I didnt. But I was in Church last Sunday, and Bo preached on how we build walls between ourselves and God. Well, God sort of tapped me on the shoulder, and told me that I've been doing that exact thing with the internet. It has become a wall between Him and I. So I took a week off to try and break down that wall, and man, have I been blessed immensly this week!

The very first thing I have to say is, this is all God. All things good come from Him. And the bad places, the rotten spots on the apples that are our lives, those are there to teach us lessons. I've learned that. Only through God can we get over those rotten spots, and only by God's blessing may we experiance the happiness and love that can be found in life. I've had a lot of soul searching to do this past week, and that has really come into view.

Okay, lets start things off with Derek.

well, lets see, last friday, not two days ago but the one before that, I went out to eat and to see a movie with a few friends. They had decided to set up me and another of their friends, Derek. At the movies we ended up holding hands and that was pretty okay and all. He seemed like a nice guy, so I just thought, maybe I can get to know him better. Well, the next day I had to be in town for a festival, and I got him to come in, and we sat down on the railroad tracks listening to some people up on the pavillion singing, and we talked for right around two hours. graduation was later that night, and after graduation we went to the mexican again, and it was me and him and ashley and rance.

Well that was all good and fun, but the big surprise came about Monday night. We talked a little bit at ABC on monday, nothing much, and he just said he would call later. Me, thinking 'typical guy' falls asleep about 10:30 or so, I was tired from taking care of the kids at the day care all day. 11 o'clock rolls around and my phone starts ringing. It's derek. That night we talked from 11 to 4am. 5 hours.

I dont know if I could begin to say what we talked about. But we talked. There were no long quiet times, nothing. We talked the whole time. Just about what we believe, our ideas about different things, all of this. and probably even more. lol... It was awesome though. I've never had a conversation that long, much less with a guy. Well, the next two nights after that we talked around 3 and 3 and a half hours. Thursday he came and picked me up and we went to eat then see Over the Hedge. Which was HALARIOUS by the way. I liked it. haha.... then he came back to my house around 9ish, and he met my mom and brother. Then my mom went on to bed about 10. We just sat there watching tv and talking, and then I looked up at the clock and it was about 12:15. Yeah, time flies I guess. I hadnt even noticed. That was thursday night, Friday night he came and picked me up about 7:30. The movie started at 7. So we found Ashley and Rance and sat down next to them, we had went to a movie called.... The Lake House, unless I'm mistaken. I dont know. But we missed the first thirty minutes, and it was CONFUSING. Him and I sat there laughing during the movie. The biggest outbreak of laughter was probably at the line "He died two years ago." sad huh? A few seconds before I had leaned over and told Derek that that is what was going to be said. (Once you've seen one chick flick, youve seen them all...... sooooo boring) So when it actually got said, he just busted out laughing, and I couldent help laughing at the irony. "He died." *HAHAHAHAHAHAH* yeah. We got a few strange looks, not the least being from Ashley and Rance, Ashley who was all teary eyed. ohhhh that was funny.

Anyways, after that we went back to my house maybe 15 or 20 minutes. Then I had to go back to town to pick up Le, so he rode with me to get her, then we all went back to my house, and Le unstringed my guitar and put the new strings on. yay, go LE!!!!!! she rocks, which, we had to have Derek get one string out, because it was just stuck horribly. but we got it out so its all good now. He left around 12 ish.

Then last night I took apart my room. If you have ever seen pics of it, I have wolves EVERYWHERE. EVERYYYYYYYY WHERE. I took ALL of them down, except for the big print over my bed, and the two smaller prints to either side. I'll try and take a pic before I get everything back up. It looks so wierd. My room is soooo....... not me right now.

Anyways, about 9:30 i got hungry and i was home alone so i drove to town and got a sub at subway and pulled over to eat. Derek called about nine forty five and I probably stayed in town about 20 minutes after that, called him back when I got home... Got off the phone around four am. 6 hours worth of phone time. How does that work really? How can there be so much to say, to talk for six hours. I know we spend a good amount of time talking about trust and stuff. A good amount, our different ideas on it and all. And at least an hour talking about birthcontrol. Cause he had found it in my room and asked me what it was, so I told him right out, I told him why I took it, and it really scared me to tell him.

I have told him about my true love waits comittment, and he said he felt the same way, no sex before marriage and all. And I was afraid that he may not trust me enough when I told him about it, I would have told him, but I wanted to wait until I could know how he would react. But I told him, and he took it well and all. He promised me not to tell anyone, beyond my mom and I, only Rach and Le know that I take it. I dont want that out around Andrews, thats how gossip gets started, even when its not true. Sadly, if people found that out, stuff would probably start going around about Derek and all too. I really dont want that. Rumors were flying when I went out with John, and after that, it would be easy for people to believe what they want. So all I can do is just try to keep this thing to myself so I dont have things going around about me that arent true like that.

Thats enough for now, I have some things I need to do. I'll try and post more later.

Love always,

-Wishes-

Currently Reading:
Indwelling: Left Behind #7
Jerry P. Jenkins, Tim LaHaye
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